Behind the Curtains
by emifever
Summary: 'I look at my celphone. 1 new message. "Bleeeeh! B-B-Bleeeeh!". Drim-drim. 4 new messages. "Hurl! Hurl! Hurl! I think I'm to throw up!" Drim-drim. 17 new messages. 25 new messages. 37 new messages.'


**Yay, my first fanfic (one-shot, actually)! You're probably going to ask yourself "da fuq is this fic" but anyway... Review, maybe?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious.**

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_I'm seventeen and I always feel so nervous, I just need to know why and how everyone can be so perfect, I don't know why they look so happy while I feel so worthless, though, my mood has been really crappy. Since the pass 2 months I've come to believe in everything that I've seen, you know... on magazine, television or every single perfect being. Those girls with perfect bodies and an amazing skin too... I'd kill to live the lifes they are in. I've been trying to lose weight over the last couple weeks throwing up on the rare times that I eat and this is just not enough. I can't stop it over-night, I still need to do much more to become perfect. But sometimes, you know, I sit in my bed and ask myself "is it worth it or I'm needing help?" And in less than 30 minutes I come back to the start, feeling cursed by the world-_

"Cat, are you alright?" Tori asked me with a worried voice. "Uh, what? Oh, Tori. You know... just thinking about my life." She probably asked herself why I'm sitting at lunch, with a sad face and looking at nowhere. I didn't told her about my depressive and anorexic problem, but she knew, I don't know how. Rumour has it in my school that I've been depressive. There is something in her eyes telling me that she is there for me and that she feels what I'm feeling, somehow... she's saying I'm not alone. I've become so numb these days, not telling anyone about this problem is hurting me inside more than it hurts when I cut myself. Of course I'm not telling my mother, or friends. They will think I'm crazy; is it crazy to want things?

"Have you ever felt... bad things about yourself?" I asked Tori, my only hope. If I can't tell her, I can't tell anyone. "What?" she asked with a curious look, "Is it because of this stupid rumour?" I didn't answered. "Kitty Cat, stop it! You shouldn't care about those lies! Actuall-" "That's not a lie," I sighed, ignoring the fact that she was looking at me like she knew I was going to answer this. "And you know it."

"You have to tell your mother! Sh-" _No_. "Don't you dare to tell anyone! Are you crazy?!" "No, Cat. You are." Ouch. "Thank you, then. I don't know why I told you this, but now I'm aware that you should be the last one to talk about it in my list." "Cat, I didn't meant to-" Before she finish talking, I walk out of there. But you know, the best part is what happened in the next day.

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Thinking about yesterday, I walk in my school, when I notice that some people are looking at me, I could hear the laughs of some and I could see the sorrow in the eyes of others. I didn't understood, but then, I saw Tori and the guys running in my direction. "Cat, I'm so sorry! I was tolding Robbie, Beck, Andre and Jade about... that, to see if they could help you and someone heard and said to everyone in school!" Huh? "Tori, what the hell are you talking about?" In 3 seconds later, some boys of the soccer team came to me and started to make vomite noises. _Oh my God_. "Awe, don't you guys have practice? Or did you losed your balls?" Jade said, pissed, making them leave. I looked at Tori, with no emotion in my face, I-I couldn't be mad at her. It's not her fault! I didn't knew what to do, so I just ran out of school, knowing everyone was looking at me and saying bad stuff.

_Drim-drim._

I look at my celphone. 1 new message. "Bleeeeh! B-B-Bleeeeh!". _Drim-drim._ 4 new messages. "Hurl! Hurl! Hurl! I think I'm to throw up!" _Drim-drim._ 17 new messages. 25 new messages. 37 new messages. I throw my phone at the ground and came back home. Got into my computer and saw TheSlap. Everyone was talking about me, so many hurtfull words. I swear I saw more than 20 times the words 'whore' and 'slut'. Something got inside of me. I came to twitter and twitted "It's not funny, I wish you guys were in my place!" I waited 1 minute and someone replied "LOOK! _It_ talks." 196 retweets. _196_.

Thank God my mother was travelling, I'm not going to school this week.

But, nothing was getting better. People keep talking about me and everything, my nickname now is "Canorexic" and "Kitty-Whore" and I can't understand it. The person that talked to the whole school about me also said that I fuck boys and old-men and that I pay for them, not the opposite. People were starting to hate me, people I never even saw in my whole life are saying I'm a slut. I couldn't handle it anymore, my nivel of self-steem is already negative. There was only one thing to do.

I turned on the camera, recorded and started talking. "Hey. It's me, Cat," I said with a dead voice. "This is my last video on TheSlap and probably the last time you are going to see me. I don't know why you guys hate me so much, or maybe I do, because now I hate me too. I didn't choose to be depressive, bulimic or anorexic. I didn't choose to throw up everyday, trying to be perfect like the other girls. I don't know why you guys are calling me whore and slut if I'm still a virgin. I'd like to thank the person who started this rumour, because actually, she is the reason you are never going to see me again. She is the reason of what I'm feeling right now. I'm just... I-I'm done. I'm done breathing." I turned off the camera and put the video on TheSlap. With tears rolling in my face, I came into the bathroom and got all the pills I found. I sitted in the bath, and started to swallow them all.

Suddenly, I felt something calling my name. I thought it was because I was dead, but I knew that voice. It was Jade's and Tori's voice. "Cat! Cat! Cat, where are you?" Tori found me in the bathroom and saw the pills. "J-Jade!" She came in the bathroom as well. Jade came to me and put her hands down my throat, making me vomit the pills."

"No! Stop it!" But Jade didn't until she was sure there wasn't any pill inside me. "Stop, Jade! Please!_ I wanna die!_" I started crying, and Tori, which was crying even more, got in the bath and hugged me, in the next, Jade was hugging me too. In moments like this that I was sure I wasn't alone anymore. _They will help me to get off this life, I though_.


End file.
